it wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't true

A conservative and a liberal were dining together one evening at a nice restaurant. As the waiter was refilling their coffee cups, he accidentally spilled coffee on the table. The liberal immediately called for the creation of a Federal Bureau of Spilled Coffee to combat the root causes of spilled coffee. Liberal senators took to the airwaves denouncing Pres. Bush for his crimes against humanity. Surely this latest incident proved beyond any doubt that the president was indeed the Antichrist. The Sierra Club and other wacky, liberal environmental groups demonstrated in the streets, because everybody knows that the steam from hot coffee is a major cause of global warming. Cindy Sheehan took her tee-pee back to Crawford, Texas and, for 40 days and 40 nights, chanted, "Bush lied, Coffee dried". The always predictable mainstream media began probing into the private life of the conservative who had been dining with that liberal. What did he know, and when did he know it? The ACLU sued the conservative. Liberals in the Congress sponsored comprehensive spilled coffee legislation that, among other things, would provide $20 million per year for Multi-Cultural Spilled Coffee Programs in the public schools.

What did the conservative do? He asked for a towel and cleaned up the mess.